


Born to Run(away with you)

by boomerangsandadora



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: (kind of?), Asexual Character, Firelord Zuko (Avatar), M/M, No Plot/Plotless, Pen Pals, Pining Zuko (Avatar), Post-Canon, Sad Zuko (Avatar), Zuko (Avatar)-centric, ace zuko
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:40:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28120278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boomerangsandadora/pseuds/boomerangsandadora
Summary: Zuko was the Firelord. Sokka had a duty to his tribe. He didn’t know the next time they’d see each other--if ever. He didn’t even know if they could have conversations like their letters in real life. What if they were better as pen pals, letting the words spill onto the page, than as actual in-person companions? What if they finally saw each other only to have awkward silences and stammering small talk?Or...Zuko waits for a letter from his penpal and reflects on their relationship.
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 37





	Born to Run(away with you)

**Author's Note:**

> CW: This whole thing is basically Zuko being lovesick but unsure of himself. There's also internalized aphobia in like one paragraph (sorry my ace Zuko rep keeps being sad, I like to project haha)
> 
> Enjoy and have a great day! xoxo

Zuko sighed as he penned the words _I’ll run away with you_. He and Sokka had been exchanging letters for the past few months, both stuck in their native nations with their respective duties. Sokka working under his father to rebuild the tribe (and learn all he needed to know to be chief himself someday), Zuko as Firelord working to undo the damages of a hundred years of violence and imperialism. Their letters, which were getting continuously longer, contained all the details of their days--everything from complaints to funny anecdotes--weren’t complete without an allusion to their imaginary life together. 

When they wanted to get away from the stress, they turned to their farm: a sea-side location in the Earth kingdom. No such place actually existed, but Zuko knew exactly where on the Earth Kingdom coast he’d want it to be. Sokka insisted on goat-geese (which were adorable) and he agreed as long as they could have turtleducks too. They dreamed of sleeping in late, cooking feasts of breakfast food, and not having any responsibilities. Sometimes Zuko got caught up in how silly the idea was--they couldn’t sleep in late if they wanted to have pig chickens and how would they possibly afford the beach side, farm acreage? 

But still, without fail they’d think of it. When an ambassador was especially demanding, Zuko would remind Sokka to keep his bag packed for their escape. When Sokka shivered in the cold, he would imagine Zuko’s fire in their Earth Kingdom residence. 

Zuko felt different about the farm on this particular night. Usually it was a comfort, imagining getting in a hot air balloon and flying off to get Sokka and run away. But tonight, he felt like he was hurting with how much he wanted it. But the escape wasn’t the most important part--would he like to get away from angry ambassadors and hours of work, of course, but more than that--he wanted Sokka. No matter how much he reminded himself that it was a dream (and that any jokes about wedding days were just that, jokes), there was a part of Zuko that was still very much an eighteen year old. He may have been through a lot, he may have the weight of his nation on his back, but deep down he was just a kid. A kid with a giant crush that could never be reciprocated. Not by someone as cool as Sokka, even if every lengthy letter reminded him that _cool_ might not be the right word. Sokka was just as unsure and confused as he was, just as self-conscious. Whenever he felt silly for writing so many words to Sokka or clingy for thinking about him so much, Sokka would say something to reveal that he felt the same way. Sometimes directly reminding him that he cared, other times showing it in smaller ways. 

Sometimes he wondered if Sokka was feeling the same way he was--trying to hint at a deeper emotion without sacrificing the lovely relationship they’d cultivated. He remembered how he and Suki had laughed at Mai and Ty Lee’s mutual pining and obliviousness, how surprised the childhood friends had been when each passing comment really had been an attempt to flirt. What if Sokka felt the same and he was too cowardly to take the step? What if Sokka didn’t and he ruined what they had?

Zuko was the Firelord. Sokka had a duty to his tribe. He didn’t know the next time they’d see each other--if ever. He didn’t even know if they could have conversations like their letters in real life. What if they were better as pen pals, letting the words spill onto the page, than as actual in-person companions? What if they finally saw each other only to have awkward silences and stammering small talk? 

Not to mention that Zuko knew he wasn’t good enough for Sokka. Not only was he dorky, awkward, and introverted--not to mention his frequent depressive episodes or anxious fits--but he couldn’t ever be Sokka’s type. He wasn’t particularly handsome to begin with, but the scar ruined any semblance of good looks he might have had. 

And, even if Sokka somehow overlooked all of that, was somehow interested in someone who he had only gotten to know as a pen pal, well, it wouldn’t matter. Zuko didn’t feel attracted to people the way he was supposed to. He wasn’t sure how he felt about kissing (with Mai it had been something he did for her, not for himself) and he was pretty sure he’d never want to go further. Even if Sokka was stupid enough to like him, there were certain expectations in a relationship. Things he didn’t feel comfortable with, but wouldn’t want to deprive Sokka of. It didn’t matter if he wanted to be more than friends, he could never do that to Sokka.

But how was he supposed to support his friend? His friend with self-proclaimed ‘daddy-issues,’ who knew the pain of losing a parent, who struggled with his mental health, who had been through a war and still chose to be kind. More than he wanted to explain that he daydreamed about waking up in the same bed before eating breakfast together and spending the day joking and talking, he wanted to explain all the things that made him feel so strongly for Sokka. There were the selfish things, the way he felt he could write to him even when he was struggling to find the energy to respond to Aang or Katara, the way that Sokka was always there to support him, the way he always could make him laugh. But there were things that were just so Sokka. Things he loved no matter what. The way he was so passionate about music, how he poured his heart into his writing, how he always had something positive to say (no matter how much he claimed otherwise), how even when he was angry it was on behalf of others not against them, all the dreams he had but the way he would let them go in a second to be there for his family, how he was so creative and funny and gorgeous and--

And he could go on all day. But that didn’t change that there was no letter today. He didn’t know if Hawky had gotten lost or if Sokka had needed a day to himself (because he was busy or because he was struggling) or if he’d said something wrong in his last letter. Somehow not having a letter made him pine even harder, think of all the things he wanted to say and wonder whether it was better to keep his mouth shut or not. 

~~~

He was tossing and turning in bed, trying to stop thinking about all those things, trying to get some sleep before his busy day, when there was a soft tapping on the window.

He jumped out of bed, racing to the window. He opened it to find Hawky with a letter. He softly petted the bird’s feathers before hurrying over to his desk. Hawky flew away, presumably to the hawkery to rest. 

He tore open the letter and read. He smiled at the fact that it began with an apology (despite the fact he’d told Sokka repeatedly he never needed to apologize to him) about how he’d written the letter three times throughout the day--Hakoda had apologized profusely for first throwing out the letter and later moving it before the ink dried, leaving it illegible. Sokka had also spilled a glass of water on a copy by accident. This was all clearly a homophobic attempt by Hakoda to censure him. Zuko couldn’t help the dumb grin on his face as he read about Sokka’s day, even though it was just a simple day. His smile lessened at Sokka’s guilt surrounding his potential plans for the future--he was considering travelling more but didn’t want to leave Hakoda alone with the responsibility of caring for the village. The letter ended with a reassurance that Zuko’s last letter (which had reached _four_ pages) was not a bother, but then (hypocritically) he apologized for writing so much. 

Zuko fell back into bed cradling the letter to his chest. He felt like an idiot, but he felt warm and fuzzy anyway. 

The questions of what to do--risk ruining the most important friendship in his life or keeping pining hopelessly--returned, but he tried to just focus on the kind words that had been sprinkled in between the description of Sokka’s day and responses to his last letter. 

It was crazy that Mai and Ty Lee lived in the palace, he exchanged letters with the rest of what Sokka affectionately termed “the gaang,” and he visited his sister regularly, and yet (without a doubt) the letters with Sokka were the most important part of his day. In fact he was finding he preferred them to his interactions with his Uncle. That’s how stupidly lovesick he was becoming. 

He wrote back, making sure to remind Sokka not to apologize and offering advice surrounding his future. He even joked about how obsessed he was with Sokka, unsure if he wanted the other boy to realize how true it really was.

**Author's Note:**

> Look guys, real talk, this is about a girl who may or not read this. And if she's gotten this far she definitely knows it's about her seeing as I basically quoted our essay-length conversations (but atla-ified them). I wrote this months ago and the Toph in my life encouraged me to post it and honestly? I'm feeling just the right amount of chaos to leave it up to destiny. If she reads this, she'll know I'm crushing. If she doesn't, it'll just be another cute zukka fic on my account. 
> 
> (This might get a part two some day, but probably not) (Maybe my Sokka will write her side of it jk jk....unless 👀)
> 
> But yeah, if you thought my literal pouring out of my heart was enjoyable, please let me know cause this was vulnerable as fuck and I love comments.


End file.
